Archive | July 2014

Pride is my greatest failing

I had such expectations for my children. They were going to grow up to be Christian as I am. They were going to love God as I do and go into the ministry as I had wanted to do at one time.

Imagine my surprise when they developed different ideas. I thought it was going well until they hit high school. I never had as much control as I thought I did. I spent many years with a guilty conscience and wondering what I did wrong. I apologized to God over and over for allowing it to happen.

Years ago, I accepted the fact that my children are what they are, precious human beings that God gave to my care for a short time. I have never stopped loving and enjoying them as they are and for what they have become. But it has been just recently that God has brought home to me the arrogance I displayed in ever thinking that I might have a final say. It says a lot about me that I considered my influence so great and unassailable. Pride is my greatest failing.

From the Way Back journal 3

July 7, 1992

More Adventures with Three Kids

Today, I took my children horseback riding. At first, I thought it was going to be a disaster but it turned out well. Katie rode with me and I will never ride two in a single saddle again. I don’t think Katie will either.

Our horses’ names were E.T. (mine), Joker (Sean), and Comanche (Christy). Firstly, our horses didn’t want to leave the stable. When we finally got them to go, it was hard for all of us to turn the horses without pulling back on the reins.

There seemed to be a pecking order. Joker had to be in front, then E.T. with Comanche bringing up the rear. Just as in bicycles, Christy was behind. I think that suited her just fine. Her being on a beast she seemed unable to control made her nervous.

Katie lost her hat twice and wanted to get down to get it. I knew I would never get her back on if she did, so I got down. E.T. realizing I was in control while on his back, also realized I was less so on the ground. He would start up in his chosen direction when I tried to get back on. I made it. I also had to get off to hand Christy her reins. I think I had some hand in her losing them too. For a while, we were confused.

When Sean finally learned the signals for turning and stopping, and got the hang of holding the knot close to the mane, he seemed to control his just fine.

If Katie gets her own horse next time, we will need at least one and preferably two other adult experienced riders.